In the last issue we ran a piece on “easy” Japanese. Words that, whether they are useful or not, are at least very easy to remember. Keeping in mind that Japanese is one of the hardest languages in the world, and many live here for years on end and never learn to speak their ways out of a paper bag, intrepid linguists (or at least people with good ears) have managed to pinpoint a few more Japanese words that are child’s play to pick up. Here’s a few to try on for size.

nuts – summer

phew – winter

ha-ha – my mother

Bingo, Tango, Kinki – regions of Japan

GG – geezer

A – picture

Ayyy – manta ray

OG – geezer

go – five

ego – the game of Go

UB – finger

CC – lion

kin – gold

U2/you chew - larva

ago - chin

chin chin – penis

chew - kiss

ginger – Shinto shrine

hen – strange, bizarre

ten - heaven

go - five

cashew - singer

kooky – fresh air

shin - new

G – hemorrhoids

go men – sorry, so sorrymen – noodles, mask

hokey – broom

coma – top (for spinning)

taco – octopus

sue me – charcoal

Names

Many Westerners arrive in Japan and find out that their names mean things in Japanese. Sometimes this is a good thing, sometimes this is a very bad thing!

NAMES THAT SOUND GOOD IN JAPANESE:

Hannah – flower, nose

June – pure

May – eye

Ken – sword, build, prefecture, etc.

Tyler – flat

Ben Lee – convenient

Naomi – common Japanese girl’s name

Meg – common Japanese girl’s name

NAMES THAT SOUND BAD IN JAPANESE:

Nicky B. – zit

Ben – dialect, part of the word for toilet

Ben P. - constipated

Gary G. Ketts - "buttful of diarrhea and hemorrhoids." 

Ben P. Dasai - 'constipated hick,'

Beth Nuhaff - 'ugly transvestite,'

Deb Heather's - 'fat and ugly,'

Hannah Gee - 'nose bleed'

Hannah Misou - 'snot.' 

Anna D'Amay – hole forbidden

Sully O'Tuck - 'pickpocket freak'

Uta Hetta - 'can't sing a note,' or 'tone deaf,' John Chiquan - 'pervert dog.' 

Confusing English used in Japan

Just because it sounds like English, doesn’t mean you’ll be able to understand what it means. Here’s a bunch of so-called English terms for you to contemplate. They are officially called wasei eigo, which means “made-in-Japan English.” Hell, anything can be made in Japan, even language. Use with caution.

Claxon – car horn

Consento – electrical outlet

Cunning – cheat (on a test)

Cooler – air conditioner and/or heater

Cutter Shirts – business shirt

Hip – bum

Hormone – guts (or hormones)

Hotchkiss – stapler

Magic tape – velcro

Mansion – apartment

Master – bartender

New Half – transvestite/transsexual

Pants – underwear/panties

Paper driver – a licensed non-driver

Potato fry – French fries

Road show – film opening

Running – tank top

Seal – sticker

Service – “on the house”

Sharp pen – mechanical pencil/propelling pencil

Skinhead – bald man

Smart – slim

Snack – hostess bar

Viking – buffet

Watch out! Other trouble words

Yam-cha – dim sum. From Cantonese, but we say “dim sum,” also from Cantonese.

Shinkansen – bullet train. Even fluent English speakers don’t know the term “bullet train” and everyone in Japan just assumes that the word “shinkansen” is already internationally accepted.

Easy Kanji

There are no easy kanji (Chinese characters used in Japanese) beyond the ones shown in last issue. Buy a good book and study!